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I must be missing a gene

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32 weeks and 6 days

My head has been getting more and more clouded with each passing day. I have to set reminders on my phone for even the simplest things, even to pay bills or remember to email someone back. Yes, pregnancy brain is a real thing, but I think it’s more because I haven’t been able to sleep for a long stretch of time (longest is about 3 hours at a time) since …… sometime in the 2nd trimester. Don’t ask when exactly because I don’t remember.

I also think I’m missing a crucial mom gene known as “nesting.” I have zero inclinations to nest. This kid’s room is still not even put together, even though most of his stuff has been purchased. I just can’t be bothered, and what’s worse? I just don’t care. We’ve cleared out half the room, but the other half that includes my work desk, computer, piles and piles of papers, stuff to be shredded, and all my camera equipment remains in there. I figure it’ll get done. By whom? Not a clue.

Don’t worry, he has a place to sleep in the travel crib/play and pack/bassinet/whatever the hell it’s called thing I got him. Calm down. I’m not that horrible.

What’s more? I constantly want more coffee and donuts. I’m not really eating donuts (just once in a while), but I want them everyday around 1pm. It’s not a pregnancy craving. I have always craved this because 1. COFFEE and 2. DONUTS. I don’t think any other explanation is really required.

I haven’t even gotten my kid a single toy because let’s face it, he’s going to want to play with pots and pans and cardboard boxes for a while. Then maybe when he’s a little more aware of actual toys, he’ll start to want them. Several friends have, however, already gifted him books from our registry, which is a WIN! In my head books > toys. Sorry kid. Your getting your own little library of books.

At the same time, I’m amazed everyday by the science and biology behind the whole human creation thing. I could talk about it all day, but people get tired of me and think “oh just another pregnant women wanting to talk about her pregnancy.” Except, I don’t care for all the lame, mushy, emotional, and quite frankly useless information that is out there. I thoroughly enjoy the actual science behind it. It’s quite fascinating.

But I must admit, I do love the little guy with all my being. I haven’t even met him yet – officially – and I love every inch of this wiggly, trying-to-bust-out-of-my-belly-button, bladder-jumping, alien-moving tiny human. It’s like we already have a bond that was made by the human body’s internal universe.

So forgive me if I do talk about him and this pregnancy from time to time. (Or just don’t read.) I’m still crossing my fingers that he makes it full term and all goes well with his stage left exit, and that he and I will both be a-ok.

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