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Save them will ya?


I won’t lie, for a long time during my twenties I thought I would eventually have a kid (just the one) after getting married at some point. But life happens. And by that I mean the unexpected.

I won’t go into details, but suffice it to say we’re consistently hurting financially. Please don’t tell us that we can make it better, because there are limits to what we can or cannot do (i.e. we can’t cut out groceries from our budget).

In any case, I’ve found the incessant questions we’ve gotten from family (both sides) on when are we going to have a child already highly offensive. Since that’s all we’re good for I guess. Or actually our families just want us to be “happy” and having a child is the only way to achieve this.

Right. Thanks but I’m actually enjoying sleeping in on the weekends, being lazy when I feel like it (and it’s not a work day), going to the gym after work and getting home late, hanging out with may friends without having to figure out a small human’s schedule, not paying for daycare, taking a vacation day to stay home with a sick child, getting sick because of said sick child, and the list goes on.

Not only that but Matt and I are getting to a better place in our marriage and our relationship and can I just say I love it?

It’s not enough that our families ask us from time to time “when are you going to have a child already” because you know “your wife is getting older.” THANKS.

But for a while now – quite a while – I’ve been getting the same incessant ad on Pandora about freezing my eggs.

Uh, a little presumptuous now are you not Pandora? Unfortunately there isn’t any way to say that this ad does not appeal to me (you can sometimes do that on Hulu) and I’m not sure who to yell at, but WOW.

“Hey! Since you’re in your mid-30s and from what we can tell you don’t have a kid yet, soooooooooo WHY DON’T YOU FREEZE YOUR EGGS ALREADY YOU LAZY, OLD WOMAN??”

*head desk*

6 Comments Post a comment
  1. We’ve bought 2 new cars in 2 years, we are renters (not getting tax credit for mortgage payments), we pay for childcare, food for 3 adults instead of just 2 because of au pair, just got 2 new phones, 2 dogs that need to see the vet….so yea, bleeding money over here. I hate it but what can we do, just like you, nothing really. So, I hear ya, girl.

    I recently read an interesting book, though not well-written, called Why Have Kids? It talks about our society’s obsession with women having kids – expectations for them to have kids no matter what, yet then not having the system (like mandatory paid maternity leave, subsidized childcare, preschool, etc.) to help them raise kids. In a time when women can be doctors, lawyers, whatever they want, we will never get away from people’s expectations that we should be mothers first and foremost, and a “perfect” mother too.

    November 7, 2014
    • Marie #

      Ugh, ugh, UGH. And exactly! Society expects us to have kids and YET, the system(s) in place is crippling and doesn’t allow for all the things you mentioned. So infuriating.

      November 7, 2014
  2. Even after having a kid, the questions don’t stop. “When are you going to make Nathan into a big brother???”

    November 7, 2014
    • Marie #

      COME ON PEOPLE. They never leave us alone do they??

      November 7, 2014
  3. San #

    I get those questions, too. All the time.

    November 7, 2014
    • Marie #

      I have a feeling they’ll never leave us alone. Until maybe menopause.

      November 7, 2014

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