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Winter Brain

winter sky

There’s been a lot on my mind lately. But then again what’s new, right? It seems that winter not only keeps me mostly indoors, but it does the same with my thoughts – mostly shut in, rummaging around in there creating even more things to think about.

So I worry about all sorts of things and find it difficult to unwind. It’s like I’m always in an unhealthy tight knot. That’s never good for my health or sanity.

Do you ever feel scared? Not of what goes bump in the night (so to speak), but of everyday things – finances, parents’ health, family’s safety, job security, retirement (is there even such a thing as retirement anymore?), you name it. The adult things that bog us down from day to day and we try to ignore as much as possible so that we can get on with our lives.

Those are the things that worry me, that I fear.

What an awful thing fear is. A human emotion that is difficult to shed.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful for all that I do have, all the time. The fear creeps in when my mind is left to wander and think of the worst.

Is it normal to live an adult life like this? Is this how it is forever until the day we die? Worry, fear, more worry, more thoughts playing around in the wandering mind?

The older I get, the more scared I get. It’s as if fear grows with age.

Funny thing though, Matt’s not like that. Sometimes I wish I could live in his emotions and mind for just a while. Take a mental vacation and shed that ever growing fear.

4 Comments Post a comment
  1. I worry and fear finances daily. I also believe I’ll die before I can retire. To me, retirement is about as likely as being able to ride a velociraptor to work.

    BTW, when did you put ads on your site?

    January 27, 2015
    • Marie #

      UGH, RIGHT??? Damn non-existent retirement for our generation (unless you are one of the top 1% or is it now the top 0.005%?).

      Oh I hate the ads. I didn’t put them there, WordPress did. If I want them gone, I have to buy the URL, which for this blog (via WordPress) I’m just not willing to do. Hence the stupid ads. Sorry about that. They bug me.

      January 27, 2015
  2. My husband is a big worrier, as is his mother. He thinks I’m living in the clouds because I’m more like Matt and not particularly fearful or worrisome. I guess you can’t win either way! I wish I had something insightful to say, but I think we’re all just hard-wired one way or the other.

    January 29, 2015
    • Marie #

      Maybe you and Matt are the perfect balance to our crazy worrying? Something tells me that we tend to seek out people (friends, potential spouses, etc.) who are in some ways like us, but in others help balance us out.

      January 29, 2015

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