There’s been a lot on my mind lately. But then again what’s new, right? It seems that winter not only keeps me mostly indoors, but it does the same with my thoughts – mostly shut in, rummaging around in there creating even more things to think about.
So I worry about all sorts of things and find it difficult to unwind. It’s like I’m always in an unhealthy tight knot. That’s never good for my health or sanity.
Do you ever feel scared? Not of what goes bump in the night (so to speak), but of everyday things – finances, parents’ health, family’s safety, job security, retirement (is there even such a thing as retirement anymore?), you name it. The adult things that bog us down from day to day and we try to ignore as much as possible so that we can get on with our lives.
Those are the things that worry me, that I fear.
What an awful thing fear is. A human emotion that is difficult to shed.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful for all that I do have, all the time. The fear creeps in when my mind is left to wander and think of the worst.
Is it normal to live an adult life like this? Is this how it is forever until the day we die? Worry, fear, more worry, more thoughts playing around in the wandering mind?
The older I get, the more scared I get. It’s as if fear grows with age.
Funny thing though, Matt’s not like that. Sometimes I wish I could live in his emotions and mind for just a while. Take a mental vacation and shed that ever growing fear.