When the mind plays tricks
I had very strange, scary dreams of my dad last night. I can’t quite remember any of them, but I do remember having a worried and scared feeling. Like something was wrong.
Normally, I brush my dreams aside and chalk it up to an overworked, exhausted mind.
This morning, however, I couldn’t shake the worried feeling because of what recently happened to my dad.
I checked my phone and didn’t see any messages from my parents. Then again they never let me know when they have a health situation on their hands, until it has passed or things are somewhat ok.
Fantastic right? Good thing there’s skype so I can actually see them through a camera even though they are thousands of miles away.
I got ready as I normally do and headed for the bus stop. I kept trying to shake away the feeling, but it still wouldn’t go away. So I texted them to see how they are doing today.
It sometimes takes a couple of minutes for the text to go through (we use What’s App), so I patiently waited. By the time I got on the bus and checked my phone, my mom had written back saying they are doing ok and asked how I was.
I breathed a huge sigh of relief. Everything was fine. For today at least. For now.
Once I got to work, I called them just to make sure. And I spoke to my dad who said he wished I was there, having lunch with them, and sounded happy that one of his sisters was visiting.
That made my heart happy.
I don’t know if my worrying has finally caught up with me and managed to mess with my brain while fast asleep, but my guess is this is what it’ll be like from now on. Worrying from thousands of miles away. Trying to mentally prepare for whatever else could go wrong.
It’s a frustrating feeling and no matter what I do to try to push that worry aside, to calm it down, it’s still there lingering. Almost taunting me.